- Laughing With -

You know those moments or days where you just want to break down and cry? About nothing.. And everything.. All at the same time? That's one of the few ways I can think of to describe how I felt today. Though my day was filled with class, learning, friends, laughter... a lot of really good things. I sometimes feel so strange, like there's a cloud above me that reminds me of the gray skies and unfriendly rain whenever it wants.

Today in English 2010, our teacher had us think of and list people, places, things, and times that we escape to- since that is the subject of our paper due September 3rd. The teacher named off examples and instructed us to start a web of description pertaining to the route we had chosen to write about. My list started out with so many things under each of the above categories. But all my people, places, things, and times narrowed down to one joy that I escape to. The farm. I got so stuck in my thoughts, I didn't listen to the next set of directions so while everyone was doing, who knows what, I did a quick write. This is what it said:

'The farm makes me feel joy and a strange carelessness. I could never leave. The porch swing is the perfect place to eat breakfast in the mornings and sit. Up with the moon and up with the stars. The stars are brilliant bright in the sky and the full moon lights up the valley. 100 years old is the cabin but it stands sturdy and sleeps friends and relatives. The farm means work and sweat. Extremely hot days and naps at noon. The farm reminds me of grandpas pineapple soda and grandma snapping at everyone. The hummingbirds fighting to feed from the red apple feeder. No electricity. Nothing. Slip'n slides, family reunions, hot dogs burned, raccoons, rock chucks, rattlesnakes, coyotes, salamanders, kites. Cool air and cool breeze. Bees, stings, bugs, mice. Camp outs with friends who bring friends. Lazy days with Levi, Breanna. Giant turtle, baby deer.'

Even though it was a random, messy, contradicting, repetitive, lame to read, quick blob of ideas and farm memory.. It made me want to cry and brought out the true blue in my blood.

When my classes were through for the day, I spent a little while in the TSC trying to come up with a new blog layout. I settled on this one, packed up my bag, and headed for the shuttle. Regina Spektor has been repeating on my Ipod all day and when I got off the shuttle, the song Laughing With, from her album Far, was playing. Listening to it, I crossed the intersection from one side of 800 East to the other, and without pushing the walk button, I crossed 1000 North. When I got to the other side, though there was plenty of time left to walk, there was a guide dog that stopped his boy from crossing the street. The blind boy bent down, smiled, scratched the dogs head and said 'good boy'. I don't know how possible it is for anyone who reads this to understand how I felt at that moment. Deeper blue. Just sad.